There Is Light at the End of the Tunnel

These past couple of months I have been dealing with some pretty overwhelming anxiety/panic attacks. It all began a couple days before school started up back in August; I was driving and all of a sudden my heart started pounding, my vision became blurry, I had shortness of breathing, and thought I was seeing my life flash before my eyes. I had never experienced anything like this before; I was terrified and ever since that one night I have been dealing with reoccurring attacks. My immediate instinct was to turn to earthly resources (doctors) for help... In the past two months I have gone to the chiropractor numerous times, had acupuncture done, and have seen my physician to see if it is something physically wrong. I have placed a lot of my trust in these earthly things, and have recently realized that all I need to really do is relax and TRUST in the LORD. God has control over this entire season of my life; He has control over the doctors that I see & the panic attacks that occur. I have been pretty dry in my prayer life this past year or so; I have lost touch with the goodness of God, and have pretty much just set a lot of my validity and happiness in worldly things. When you turn your back from God, sometimes He uses suffering to pull you back to Him. He is using this season of my life to test my faith and see how strong I really am. He is testing me to see who I place my trust and hope in when I have these attacks--doctors or Him? God is not going to stop loving me & He is not going to stop chasing after me. Sometimes I just feel so oblivious because I go through hardships and feel so deteriorated & hopeless, but feel SO much better when I return my focus back to Him. It is difficult because I feel like I am only close to God when something bad happens in my life, so my prayer is that this precious time with Him would occur daily & consistently. I always find myself worrying about the future (college, career, marriage, health, security), but I don't even know if tomorrow will come! It's silly how often I forget that life here on Earth is so short. I can not even begin to be anxious or worried about tomorrow or something that can occur in two weeks or two years, etc... It's simply not worth it to stress about especially because God, the ruler of EVERYTHING, has ultimate control over every single little circumstance we go through. He has control over whether or not the sun will rise each morning, He has control over whether or not we will wake up tomorrow morning, He has control over our health, and ultimately control over our twisted thoughts. The Word is so clear about not worrying and not being anxious about anything;  Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not worry about anything, but with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests known to God and then the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." ...Matthew 6:34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."Why do I have such little faith? Why do I so often forget about these CLEAR truths? Why am I so easily deceived? Lord, have mercy... I am thankful for these past couple of months, yes I repeat I am THANKFUL, because God has restored to me the goodness of His kingdom. Life can be dry and extremely painful when God seems to be absent. I could keep searching for doctor after doctor to see if there is something physically wrong with me, but I think my biggest issue is that I need to be continually searching for the Greatest Doctor, Jesus Christ. Even if there is something physically wrong with me, I pray that my life would still be full of joy and contentment through Jesus. I need to stop turning to those around me for advice all the time, and turn to God initially to find answers & comfort. Surely I know God has a plan and reason for all of these painful things happening to me, and some day I'll figure that out, but for now I am trusting in Him alone.