Wow, I haven't blogged in approximately two weeks. Something tells me I may be finally getting past my technology addiction. Well, in the past two weeks much has happened. The Lord has been more gracious towards me than ever, and I am overwhelmed by the love that I've been experiencing from Him. This semester has been rough so far, but it's good at the same time. I'm being challenged in new, different ways and I'm getting stressed out which is also a good thing I might add. I went from having quite the easy first semester to having a difficult one now, which I could see coming all along. I finally have homework again, and I'm working hard for my Lord; it's a good feeling. This new semester has definitely had it's disadvantages too. I haven't had much time to sit down and talk to God or read my Bible as much as I want. About a week ago I made a new year's resolution list which included reading 3-5 chapters a day from a book in the Bible. I read every day this week except on Wednesday, which is pretty good for me. I'm actually sticking to my goals, and wanting to do better. I highlight "wanting" for a reason; this goal I have [to read my Bible every day] isn't something I feel forced to do. For once, I want to. When I didn't read on Wednesday, the next day (yesterday) I felt completely empty. Yesterday might have been one of the worst days of my life actually. And it wasn't because some tragic thing happened to me or anything, but rather because I realized I didn't have much one-on-one time with God the previous day. This really got to me, and last night I was talking to my friend Amanda about how it's so crazy that we don't have the desire to want to live our lives for Christ as much as we should. I find myself feeling this utter guilt built up inside of me when I don't, and this little voice in my head is always saying "How could you not?" I feel terrible when I realize I haven't been taking up my cross and not having that passion inside of me to live for my Savior. It makes me feel completely worthless and selfish as well. I need more realization like last night that makes me think this isn't about me. It's about the One that has Saved me from my old life full of sinful nature and iniquities. I need to put all else behind me, and persevere for what lies ahead with God. I need to be more consistent and know that God always comes first. Always.
I coincidentally just flipped to this passage in my Bible :)
"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want...Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."
-Galatians 5:16-25
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